if you’re physical about your cooking this is the only way to make brussel sprouts.

brussel sprouts


  • cast iron frying pan
  • tongs
  • stovetop capable of getting that frying pan really hot


  • brussel sprouts - 1-3 lbs.
  • kosher salt
  • pepper
  • chili powder
  • onion sliced - 1 large
  • garlic sliced (4 cloves)
  • walnuts
  • olive oil
  • dijon mustard (optional)


  1. clean and halve the brussel sprouts. halving them is important
  2. get that frying pan hot, like really frickin’ hot, but not so hot that your oil smokes
  3. pour in enough olive oil to coat the bottom of the frying pan
  4. put a layer of brussel sprouts in the pan, cut face down
  5. let the brussel sprouts sear
  6. liberally salt and pepper the sprouts while cooking
  7. add onions and garlic
  8. let onions soften and start to scorch
  9. add walnuts
  10. toss the whole concoction with a few passes of chili powder
  11. if stuff falls out of the frying pan, STFU and eat it.
  12. when the mixture has reached the appropriate level of badass sear remove from heat and serve with dijon mustard on the side
  13. evaluate offers of baby-daddy-hood from consumers of these sprouts

additional notes

i will acknowledge that it is indeed possible to improve upon this recipe through the judicious application of bacon. however, bacon use is widely regarded as cheating.